Gangsters for Life Three Decades in the Mafia
by Sgt Ranma
Summary: An altaverse fic where Ranma and Ryoga are top men in a crime family. This is the story of life in the mafia for Ranma over 30 years of his life. From the top of the world to the pitfalls in a life of crime.


This is an alternate universe fic, oneshot, it really  
doesn't have much to do with the canon Ranma world, I'm only  
using the names and little of the character personalities.  
  
This fic is rated "R" in terms of how movies are rated, it  
shows scenes of violence, adult situations, and bad  
language. There are also gonna be several harsh, racist  
remarks, although I'm not a racist I put them in for impact  
on the character behaviors. If you are offended by any of  
these, I suggest you don't read. There is gonna be a HEAVY  
usage of cuss words. Don't flame me for describing and  
writing so many bad things (compliments are welcomed  
though), I am warning you right now, if you get offended by  
any of these things, you might not want to read this. I  
ain't putting any sex scenes or none of that lemony shit  
though.  
  
**YOU MUST, MUST READ THIS BOTTOM PORTION BELOW!!!!!!!!!**  
  
The fic will be told in different perspectives, from first  
person views of different characters to an omnitive view.  
After the title, I'll indicate who's talking with brackets.  
Example: [Name Here] . I know this method is unorthodox and  
MIGHT seem confusing, but it's the best way I can think of  
to portray this story in prose than script. When I'm trying  
to write in pure narration prose style, I'll indicate  
[Narrative]. Whenever a character such as [Ranma] is  
talking, imagine he is just directly talking to YOU the  
reader, about whatever he is talking about.  
  
Also, it's a suggestion, but, it would help if you read the  
fic in a, sort of, Italian mafia-like tone, if you know what  
I mean. The smooth New Yorker Italian-gangster like dialect  
is how you should picture this. I know it's supposed to be  
Japanese in nature, but bear with me.  
  
Before you plan on flaming me after reading this fic, I  
suggest you read the foot notes at the bottom first.  
  
-Sgt Ranma  
  
Please visit my website at http://sgtranma.0catch.com! New  
fics will always appear there first! And I update often!  
  
---------------------  
  
  
  
Present Day, 11:45 PM.  
  
Late night cruising was something I did all the time.  
Cruising out for girls, going out on a heist, whatever.  
Tonight was no fucking exception. Me and my buddy Ryoga, we  
just happened to be out driving across the interstate, up in  
the mountains.  
  
BUMP. BUMP.  
  
"Huh?" I frowned a bit, but I kept my hands on the  
steering wheel and continued driving through the twisty  
mountain road.  
  
BUMP. BUMP.  
  
Ryoga woke up from the back seat of the sedan with a  
groan.  
  
"Jeez Ranma, I think you gotta fuckin' flat tire."  
  
BUMP. BUMP. The noises from the back of the car were  
getting louder.  
  
Ryoga growled again, still half asleep. "What da fuck is  
that?"  
  
"Just leave it alone, it sure don't sound like one.  
Maybe it's just some rocks or something on the road," I told  
him.  
  
BUMP. BUMP. BUMP. BUMP.  
  
Ryoga snarled, and woke up completely. "What the fuck is  
that fucking sound? It sounds like something from the car."  
He tapped my shoulder. "Pull this damn car over, let's see  
what the fuck it is."  
  
I stopped the car on the left emergency lane of the  
road, we walked out and checked to see if there was anything  
wrong with the car. Yet we didn't find any of the tires  
flat. The entire forest was pitch fucking black, no one was  
around for miles.  
  
"See Ryoga? I don't have any fucking flat tires."  
  
BUMP. BUMP. Ryoga and I looked at the trunk. The noise  
seemed to be coming from there. Ryoga pulled out his sashimi  
knife from inside his leather jacket and I pulled out my  
small .38 revolver, I had the privilege of carrying a gun in  
Japan because I was a Made man.  
  
"Open up the trunk, Ranma," Ryoga said.  
  
Ryoga and I cautiously circled around right in front of  
the trunk, our weapons drawn. I pulled out my keys and  
pressed the trunk release button on the remote.  
  
The trunk popped wide open, revealing an oriental man  
with long hair, a dirty white robe and a pair of broken  
glasses hanging loosely from his bloody face. His entire  
body was messily wrapped up in a huge white sheet, but he  
seemed to have tried to rip it away to free himself. His  
left eye was gouged and seemed to be missing.  
  
"Plea-please...help me!" the man croaked.  
  
Ryoga's face twisted into a mask of hatred, I just shook  
my head as I held the gun right on the man.  
  
"Mousse, you're still alive you piece of shit!? You rat  
motherfucker!" Ryoga snarled. He hastily got closer to the  
trunk and stabbed him repeatedly in the chest. "Die you  
Chinese motherfucker!"  
  
Mousse emitted a scream of pain and a croak from his  
throat, Ryoga moved away and I emptied three shots in his  
face. Right after I saw his face crumble into an  
unrecognizable blob of shit I slammed the trunk closed.  
  
"All in a day's work, eh? We coulda done that a lot  
cleaner," I told him. "Now my trunk is gonna reek."  
  
________________________________________________________  
  
  
GANGSTERS FOR LIFE  
Three Decades of Life in the Mafia  
  
By Sgt Ranma  
  
INSPIRED BY MARTIN SCORSESE AND RUMIKO TAKAHASHI  
  
________________________________________________________  
  
  
[Ranma]  
  
All my life I've always wanted to be a gangster. My pop  
was a gangster, my father in law was a gangster, all of em'.  
My mom never did approve of it, she always thought we'd pay  
for our sins one day because honor was something you just  
couldn't ignore. She always said some bullshit like that.  
  
It all started when I was ten. My pops was a Made man  
for the Saotome Crew, it was something my great grandpa or  
someone started generations ago, we became one of the top  
Yakuza families in Japan. We had a lot of smaller Yakuza  
families serving under us, all loyal, all under our control.  
  
----------------  
  
Flashback  
  
[Ranma]  
  
Pops is a regular thick headed moron. He's ecstatic  
about his lifestyle and career. Anything that'll bring in  
money, he'll do. I remember when I was about nine years old  
we stopped by a pastry shop for a little business visit.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
Genma punched the big, clumsy looking man in the stomach  
and rammed him against an oven inside of the man's bakery  
shop. The guy made the mistake of trying to attack the  
Saotome by trying to register a cheap hit with a  
sledgehammer.  
  
"You want to fuck with me?! Now into the fucking oven  
you go, head first, you fat Hokkaido fuck!"  
  
The man screamed while Genma held his head inside of the  
hot bread oven, until the only sound that could be heard was  
the sizzling of human flesh.  
  
[Ranma]  
  
What'd I tell ya?  
  
End Flashback  
  
----------------  
  
[Ranma]  
  
There were of course other factions around with us, but  
we were pretty neutral.  
  
There was the Sagoya family and Nakagawa's of the north,  
they didn't bother us much, they liked to keep to  
themselves. They liked to specialize in more "legitimate"  
businesses, unlike us. Construction works and worker unions,  
that's the kind of shit they like. The pussies.  
  
Then there was the Nyuuchiezuu Crew. I've always hated  
those rat bastard, Chinese motherfuckers. Pop didn't like  
them too, nor did Ryoga, especially Ryoga. He was always  
irritated by them for some reason. The Nyuuchiezuu was  
headed by an old bitch named Cologne, the entire crew's Made  
men weren't men at all, they were mostly women. Pffft.  
Pathetic, a bunch of wannabe gangsters run by women,  
although some of them are hot, I'll admit. I had one of them  
falling head over heels for me, and my oh-so, slick, charms.  
  
  
----------------  
  
Flashback  
  
[Narrative]  
  
A bunch of women in Chinese style clothing with golden  
dragons embroidered on their silk shirts are holding a man  
down against a chair. One girl with blue hair pulls out a  
big serrated knife and stabs it hard into the man's belly,  
who screams loud like a little girl.  
  
"You pay back Shampoo's money you wok motherfuck! Or  
else Shampoo stick sharp blade all the way up to fucking  
nose!"  
  
[Ranma]  
  
But they were pretty vicious, those crazy Nyuuchiezuu  
bitches. I'll give them that much.  
  
End Flashback  
  
----------------  
  
[Ranma]  
  
There was another powerful family down by in the  
districts of Tokyo, the Kuno family. But they weren't Yakuza  
at all, more like one of those old fashioned fucking samurai  
freaks. Their youngest daughter, Kodachi Kuno, had some kind  
of obsession with me, but I wasn't interested at the time.  
That bitch snorts more cocaine than Santa Claus and his  
jolly fat ass could make snow in the wintertime.  
  
------------------  
  
Flashback  
  
[Narrative]  
  
Sasuke walked into the room of Ms. Kodachi Kuno, her  
living quarters was always a drab, dark room filled with  
plants everywhere. He hoped that maybe this weekend she  
hasn't been having too much fun.  
  
He walked over to a beautiful glass table behind the  
huge bed, there he saw the back of Kodachi, she was lying  
back against the bed. He walked over and saw a mess of white  
powder all over the table along with a rolled up yen bill  
along with a razor blade. He turned to see his Kodachi-  
sama's face, drool dribbling down her chin.  
  
Her eyes were glazed and blank, she had a maniacal  
looking grin on her face. Her entire nose was littered with  
cocaine. The color in her face was drained, making her look  
white as a ghost.  
  
"Shoot. Oy! Someone call the doctors! Ms. Kuno has OD'd  
again!"  
  
End Flashback  
  
-----------------  
  
[Ranma]  
  
Heh, don't worry about her. The rest of her family is  
like that too, crazy and deranged. And SHE is the only one  
who uses drugs.  
  
Then finally there's the Tendo Crew. Probably the  
largest of all the Yakuza families, headed by only a few,  
but controlling thousands. Pops and Godfather Soun Tendo  
were close friends, they had grown up with each other in  
close ranks, they trained in the Musabetsu Kakutou Ryu, a  
martial art created and trained under grandmaster martial  
artist Happosai.  
  
----------------  
  
Flashback  
  
[Narrative]  
  
Soun Tendo, Genma Saotome, and a little old grandpa  
named Happosai were finally inside of the diamond store.  
Although they had their inferiors to do the stealing for  
them, Soun and Genma got a kick out of executing heists  
themselves.  
  
The plan was ingenious, they first had a man on the  
inside to turn off all the securities, and right now they  
had hired a group of bums to occupy the small police  
department in the town they were in. Even if they were  
caught in the act of stealing, it would take awhile for any  
cops to get to them.  
  
"What a haul! What a haul!" cried Happosai.  
  
"Will you shut the fuck up? Make it quiet!" Soun growled  
while stuffing his bag full of jewelry.  
  
"I'm gonna go to the strip club as soon as I get my  
dough, and I'm gonna waste it all on naked women!"  
  
[Ranma]  
  
Master Happosai was one perverted old man. Pops and  
Tendo-san hated him for it despite Happi's martial arts  
prowess.  
  
End Flashback  
  
------------------  
  
[Ranma]  
  
However, Pops told me him and old man Tendo disposed of  
Happosai with a bullet to the back of his head. Pops always  
said something about the master being a devil reincarnated  
to a freakish devil form. Whatever. All I know is that I'm  
glad I learned an art that turns me into a lethal, sexy,  
killing machine.  
  
Anyway, back to the story. I was ten when Pops finally  
decided that I should cash in on the family business. Yeah,  
right. Family business? I spent afternoons of my childhood  
after school either practicing martial arts or selling  
stolen goods on the streets.  
  
Many times I set fire to exploded the cars of government  
officials and local aristocrats that pissed us off. But  
nevertheless, I got what I'd always wanted, watching all  
those wiseguys and those low level gangsters from the window  
of my room finally paid off. I was making more money from  
the family business than what most fathers in the  
neighborhood made from their salaries. I had more money than  
I knew what to fucking do with.  
  
------------------  
  
Flashback  
  
[Narrative]  
  
A young teenage Ranma and Ryoga pour kerosene all over a  
bunch of fancy luxury cars in the parking lot behind a large  
hall where a party was taking place. Ranma pours his  
kerosene all the way outside to the street, and ignites the  
trail with a match.  
  
The cars all catch on fire and are set ablaze,  
eventually they start to blow up and cause fireballs in the  
air. Ranma and Ryoga watch from across the street from a  
bench and pretend they are a bunch of dumb kids looking at  
some fireworks while the owners of the cars frantically run  
out to try to save their expensive automobiles.  
  
End Flashback  
  
------------------  
  
[Ranma]  
  
Pops had some of his lieutenants sell the good shit down  
by the alleys because they were more experienced than I was.  
Dealing went down in every school yard or corner alley you  
could find down in Nerima.  
  
The funniest things happen in life, you know? Sometimes  
your worst enemies can turn into your best, and closest  
friends. Ryoga Hibiki was my example. We met way back when,  
back when I was about eight years old. We fought over the  
dumbest things, he had a temper like a bull fucked up on  
steroids. We got into a lot of fist fights, he was somewhat  
of a martial artist. He WAS a damn good street fighter  
though, no doubt about that.  
  
I was raised rather shrewdly, I cussed a lot, starting  
from late in elementary schools. I was rude to everyone  
except for my parents and the other Yakuza leaders. But no  
one got me in trouble, the motherfucking teachers knew they  
shouldn't fuck with me or else someone would personally  
visit them and give a good old motherfucking skull fuck  
right through the top of their fucking heads. Ryoga cussed a  
lot too, probably mostly influenced by me. The teachers  
didn't get him in trouble because they knew HE would beat  
the fuck out of them.  
  
Stupid routines among as started, the thing we fought  
over the most was the bread at school. I would've normally  
brought a lunch from home, but it was just so much fun to  
piss off Ryoga.  
  
-------  
  
Flashback  
  
[Ryoga]  
  
Back when we were only ten or eleven, we were going all  
out against each other. Ranma's my best bud now and we still  
occasionally fight each other for fun, but back in the day  
he was a fucking prick straight up the ass.  
  
[Ranma]  
  
Yeah, but despite what Ryoga always said, I think he  
liked to start the fights. I just gave him what he wanted.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
Two young boys are facing each other, one has a school  
uniform on with a ponytail and the other is wearing a yellow  
shirt and a bandanna on his head.  
  
"Ranma you motherfucker! That's my curry bread you  
bitch!"  
  
"Nyay, nyah! I got it first, fair and square, lost boy!"  
  
"Hey fuck you! I've had to starve all week  
motherfucker!"  
  
Ranma blew a raspberry at Ryoga and tried to throw a  
punch. "I got two words for ya Ryoga! FUCK and YOU!! Ha ha!"  
  
Ryoga swung at Ranma and missed. "I'll get you, you son  
of a bitch!"  
  
Ranma ran out of the cafeteria leaving Ryoga in the  
dust. Ryoga was much stronger than him when it came to brute  
strength, but Ryoga came nowhere near Ranma's level of  
speed. He ran down the stairs and out of sight.  
  
Ryoga was hot behind his trail, but as soon as he got  
out of the cafeteria, he shook his head in confusion.  
  
He pointed and asked some meek student. "Hey, do you  
know where the fuck Saotome went?"  
  
The student pointed down the stairs, he was afraid of  
Hibiki. "He went down the stairs sir."  
  
"Thanks," Ryoga said.  
  
He promptly shifted his body and jumped out the window  
like an idiot.  
  
Flashback End  
  
---------------  
  
[Ranma]  
  
Oh yeah, did I forget to tell you, that Ryoga is the  
dumbest fucking navigator on earth?  
  
That crazy bastard has NO sense of direction. You could  
point to a fucking mountain of gold and he'd head in the  
other direction, claiming he was following his "instinct".  
His instinct would get him lost in a room that only leads in  
one fucking direction.  
  
But make no mistakes, Ryoga was and still is not one to  
be taken lightly. His temper is famous for being volatile  
like a fucking forest fire. Easy to start, a fucking burden  
to put out. I know, I know, it's weird how him and me are  
enemies yet still friends. I'm the one who got him into the  
mafia business. Despite being an enemy, I was also the only  
person who ever talked with him. I guess as we grew up  
together, we matured too, and the pitiful fights we had just  
stopped. Now he's one of my closest friends, my number two  
man who always backs me up.  
  
If only Ryoga was part of the family, he could have the  
potential of being a Made man. But it didn't make any  
difference to him. He made a reputation for having a  
homicidal temper. You mess with him and you suffer his  
wrath.  
  
--------------------  
  
Flashback  
  
[Narrative]  
  
The atmosphere was filled with fun and drunken stupors.  
All the friends of Ranma and company were gathered in  
Hiroshi and Daisuke's new sushi restaurant. It was also  
complete with a huge bar, filled with every liquor you can  
imagine. Heh, of course Ranma and Ryoga couldn't pass up  
free drinks and free food when it was offered it to them.  
They had been invited to the restaurant first thing when it  
opened, but they hadn't had the time to come for at least a  
week.  
  
Hiroshi and Daisuku both had to pay close respect to  
both Ranma and Ryoga, after all, it was Ranma who had given  
them the opportunity to start the restaurant by getting some  
drug money.  
  
Ranma was sitting at a booth chatting with a bunch of  
girls, enjoying the spirits and alcohol of the joint. Ryoga  
sat at the bar itself, he was wearing a nice, glitzy suit  
that somehow still went along just fine with his yellow  
bandanna.  
  
[Ranma]  
  
Ahh. I remember this. Hiroshi and Daisuke's first joint.  
I remember I was sitting with my friend Ucchan and a couple  
other girls talking about nothing, and Ryoga was telling  
something funny to a bunch of guys over at the bar. I think  
we were both only 20 years old then, just barely old enough  
to drink. Ryoga didn't drink too much, only to have fun with  
it. But he was one mean drunk.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
A bunch of Japanese men young and old were gathered  
around Ryoga, who was sitting down on a barstool, sitting  
across from their host, Hiroshi. Everyone had smiles  
plastered on their faces.  
  
"So, I says to the guy, 'Bing! Ya motherfucker! Why  
don't you just go home and fuck your mother!' and he just  
stands there like a fucking idiot with a plunger stuck up  
his ass!" Ryoga exclaimed. "He thought I was gonna kill him!  
Ah ha ha! Unfortunately when he ran off I couldn't find  
him, cause I lost my way as I tried to catch him!"  
  
A barrage of laughter rang out at Ryoga's story, he  
laughed heartily along with the others. He took a swig of  
his sake from his small cup, he'd been drinking quite a few  
since he got there.  
  
As everyone continued laughing, Hiroshi let out a little  
comment. "You're a funny guy Ryoga, real funny."  
  
Everyone else was still laughing, and Ryoga still had a  
smile on his face and was still laughing. "What do you  
mean?" Ryoga asked.  
  
"Eh?" Hiroshi replied. Everyone was still laughing but  
it died down a bit.  
  
Ryoga still had a half smile on his face. "You just said  
I was funny, what do you mean?"  
  
"Wha-? Nothing Ryoga, I said nothing," Hiroshi said.  
  
"You said I was funny. What is it? What do you mean I'm  
funny, is it the way I talk?"  
  
"I didn't say nothin', Ryoga, I mean-"  
  
"You just said I was funny, I just fucking heard you.  
What the fuck did you mean that I was funny?" Ryoga replied,  
his face was now neutral but his eyebrow was raised. There  
was no hint of anger in his expression but it wasn't a happy  
one either.  
  
The room was now silent it seemed everyone was focused  
on Ryoga and Hiroshi at the moment. No one dared utter a  
sound when the slightest hint of anger from Ryoga could be  
detected. And the slightest hint of anger from Ryoga could  
be ANYTHING at all to the people who knew him.  
  
[Ranma}  
  
Now, I may have been somewhat friends with Hiroshi and  
Daisuke, after all, they were practically my little bitches  
and did whatever errands I told them to do, but Ryoga wasn't  
particularly fond of them. In fact, he didn't like many  
people at all. Hiroshi might as well have been another  
expendable piece of shit to Ryoga, despite Hiroshi being our  
fucking host and all.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
Ranma looked over to the bar which was only a few meters  
away, he didn't want Ryoga to start trouble when everyone  
was having such a great time.  
  
Ranma decided to butt in. "Hey, Ryoga, you got it all  
wrong, I think he just meant-"  
  
Ryoga waved off Ranma with a chuckle. "No, no, don't  
worry about him Ranma. He's a big boy. He can speak for  
himself, he knows what he said. His fucking parents took him  
to school." Ryoga faced Hiroshi again. "So what do you mean  
I was funny, huh?"  
  
Ranma shrugged and kept his mouth shut, it was no use in  
discouraging him.  
  
"Come on, Ryoga, I meant nothing by it," Hiroshi said  
nervously.  
  
Ryoga frowned a little. "Let me get this straight, cause  
maybe I'm a little fucked up right now," he gestured to his  
head and the sake he was drinking.  
  
The temperature of the room felt like it dropped several  
degrees because that's how everyone felt at Ryoga's voice.  
  
"You just said I was funny. I heard that from you right  
now. Do I make you laugh? Hmmm? Funny how? I mean, funny  
like a CLOWN? Do I AMUSE you? Huh?" Ryoga said pointing to  
himself.  
  
"No-"  
  
"I make you laugh? I'm here to fucking amuse YOU?" Ryoga  
gestured to himself. "You're laughing at my fucking  
disability of finding places or what?" Ryoga leaned closer  
to Hiroshi and narrowed his eyes. "I don't say anything  
about you for having a small dick and being a rat bastard  
you stupid fuck."  
  
[Ranma]  
  
If you were there at that moment you could probably cut  
through the thick anxiety in the air with a fucking knife.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
"No, I meant you're a funny guy, you know... you know  
how to tell a funny story. Come on you know what I mean,"  
Hiroshi chuckled nervously.  
  
Ryoga chuckled with a sneer. "No, no, I DON'T know, you  
said it!" Ryoga said sarcastically. "YOU know, you're the  
one who said I was funny. You're the fucker who said I was  
fucking funny. Do the words that come out of my mouth amuse  
you? Huh? Tell me!"  
  
"Come on Ryoga, I was only joking," Hiroshi said, fear  
dripping in his voice.  
  
Ryoga pointed a finger at Hiroshi. "Hey, you're the one  
who said it buster. So tell me! How am *I* so fucking funny,  
huh?" Ryoga slammed his hand on the table and smashed his  
cup. "How the fuck am I funny? WHAT THE FUCK IS IT ABOUT ME  
THAT'S SO FUNNY?! Tell me what's funny! Tell me!" he  
growled.  
  
"I-I..." Hiroshi stuttered.  
  
Ryoga pulled back his fist and clocked Hiroshi right  
across the face with a quick jab, knocking him out cold.  
  
"Ha ha, I was only fucking with you, ya rat bastard! Ya  
stutterin' fuck you." Ryoga tossed the crushed pieces of the  
glass sake cup at Hiroshi's downed body and started  
laughing.  
  
Everyone else joined in laughing with him, more out of  
nervousness than actual humor. Ranma was at his booth with  
his girls, shaking his head.  
  
"He's too wild," Ranma sighed. "He's gonna get in a  
world of trouble one of these days."  
  
[Ranma]  
  
I'll tell you more on THAT later.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
Daisuke meekly pushed his way through the crowd to  
Ryoga, they were still laughing over Hiroshi's unconscious  
body. Daisuke unfortunately didn't know what just happened,  
so he didn't expect Ryoga to be in a sour mood for what he  
was about to confront him with.  
  
"Uh, hello, Ryoga-san?"  
  
Ryoga turned around to look at Daisuke. "What is it?"  
  
Daisuke chuckled nervously. "Anou... I know you're an  
honorary guest here Ryoga-san, but... you've been piling up  
quite a steep bill here, and I was wondering if you could  
pay for some of it."  
  
Ryoga frowned at him. "What the fuck did you just say to  
me?"  
  
Daisuke stuttered a little. "I-I was just wondering if  
you could pay off a little bit of it, it's piling up to  
about 200,000 yen, you know, with all the drinks you've been  
getting and the foods you're ordering."  
  
"Get the fuck out of my face you little rat-faced flying  
fuck," Ryoga said. He decided to be merciful and shoved him  
off.  
  
"But-" Daisuke pushed his luck.  
  
Ryoga sighed and grabbed his large sake bottle. "What do  
I look like to you-" he smashed the sake bottle hard on the  
top of Daisuke's head, "-a fucking mutt who stiffs the  
fucking bill!?"  
  
Poor Daisuke got knocked down and wasn't unconscious,  
but his head was ringing.  
  
"Sumimasen!" he cried and bowed to Ryoga. He scurried  
off back into the lobby.  
  
"Rat fuck. His whole family is a bunch of rat fucks. Who  
would've thought that bitch ass motherfucker would grow up  
to be a fucking rat." Ryoga scoffed.  
  
[Ranma]  
  
Yep, that's Ryoga for you. He's very touchy on just  
about anything that hurts his pride or insults him. What a  
great fuckin' guy, eh?  
  
End Flashback  
  
-----------------  
  
[Ranma]  
  
I like Ryoga and he's my friend, but sometimes he's a  
loose cannon and does the stupidest fucking things.  
  
He's too hard to discourage, and like I said, he's not  
one to be taken lightly when he's mad. I swear, that guy was  
destined to be a pigheaded idiot.  
  
Too many people make the mistake of underestimating him  
when taking him on. If you ever get the balls to go against  
him, you better remember these following guidelines. You  
give Ryoga an insult, he'll come back at you with a shove.  
You come back at him with a shove, he'll come back with a  
punch. You come back with a punch, he'll come back with a  
bat. You come back with a bat, and he'll come right back at  
your ass with a gun.  
  
And if you come back at him with a gun... You better  
fucking hope he's down on the ground and out for the count  
because otherwise he'll be back and he will fucking MAKE you  
wish you were never born. He will literally make you eat the  
fucking pavement with your own fucking teeth and he will put  
your mouth on a curb and smash your fucking head open for  
the world to see.  
  
The first person he ever killed was way back when in  
high school (although we were dropouts), he beat some man to  
death because we were being sent to collect some of Pop's  
money. The first time I ever killed someone was when I was  
down in the harbor to whack a lawyer. But unlike Ryoga, I  
was a little shaken up by it. Ryoga didn't care a whit about  
anyone he ever killed. I never understood why, he must've  
had a fucked up childhood or something.  
  
  
So, back to the story. We spent our teen years robbing  
cargo trucks and beating people up for either information or  
money. We weren't too involved with girlfriends and  
relationships till later, when we were adults.  
  
Ryoga found himself true love though, at the young age  
of 19. He married some beautiful pig farmer named Akari  
Unryuu. Ryoga is a cruel, cold, bastard, but when it came to  
his wife he was a very loving husband. Weird. I'd thought  
he'd turn out to be wife beater. They had a kid not too  
long after, a son, his name was Shinnosuke, but everyone,  
even to this day calls him Shin-chan. No matter how wild  
Ryoga was and how violent he was, he always spent time to do  
things with Shin-chan. Every single day Ryoga had breakfast  
with his son, and had a friendly, fatherly chat with him. Of  
course, the second he steps out of the house and into the  
streets he turns back into a raging bull. Kaiki kuso.  
  
I on the other hand, didn't have much luck with love  
until later after Ryoga got married. My marriage was the  
reason why the Tendo-Saotome Crew united to become the  
biggest and most powerful crime family in all of Japan.  
  
I never knew Soun Tendo very well, he was Oyaji's  
friend, and I only knew him by reputation. While Soun Tendo  
was godfather of his crew at the time, my dad was not. He  
was, sort of, but he never was one who took leadership on  
too well, despite being the head of the Saotomes.  
Fortunately for us, we had extremely loyal subjects who did  
the leading for us without the possibility of a coup inside  
of the family.  
  
Pops introduced me to the Tendos, and I became  
acquainted with old man Tendo's three daughters.  
  
The oldest daughter was Kasumi. She was a nice girl and  
had the face of an angel. But, despite her innocent  
appearance she was also the family's narcotics general. She  
didn't use any herself, but her kitchen skilled allowed her  
to create hundreds of variants of cocaine and heroin to  
transfer around undetected in Japan. Clever bitch.  
  
The middle daughter was Nabiki, a shrewd,  
straightforward business pirate, she was in charge of all  
the major finances for the family. She worked her brain  
quite a bit, she had to think of new ways to launder money  
that was reaping in from all the drug sales. Everything she  
planned out was spread out to all the drug lieutenants that  
we controlled in Japan. And thanks to her clever money  
cleaning secrets, the cash just rolled right in like a  
fucking bulldozer.  
  
The youngest daughter was Akane. For some peculiar  
reason, she wasn't into her family's business at all. But  
she had one mean temper. Not homicidal like Ryoga, but just  
plain mean. She was into martial arts a little bit, and she  
was actually opposed to the family business.  
  
Anyway, Oyaji introduced me to Tendo's girls, and told  
me about the plans to unite the two families. Akane was the  
most natural choice to everyone, and for us. She was into  
martial arts, she was the same age as me, and she was the  
only one between her sisters who didn't have a boyfriend.  
Akane and I didn't get along at first, but I guess I got  
used to her. Batta bing, batta boom, one thing led to  
another, and I guess we eventually got married. I was about  
25 years old at the time. Akane wasn't bad looking despite  
her temper, in fact she was damn cute. I guess my suave  
charms also helped in the end for us hooking up together. We  
had kids too, two daughters actually. Both twins. Ryoga's  
family and my family often took care of each others kids and  
we did a lot of stuff together, but that's a completely  
different story right there.  
  
Life was GOOD, being in the mafia. It was everything I  
had expected, and more. You get front row seats at concerts  
every time, the VIP tables at any restaurant you go,  
everything. Wherever I went with my wife, I got everything.  
The glitz and the glamour. Gangster life was fuckin'  
BEAUTIFUL.  
  
[Akane]  
  
I remember the first time I ever met Ranma. A stuck up,  
snotty, grease ball with a pervert's eye.  
  
I never liked daddy's business or the ways my sisters  
helped out in his damn crime business. The only thing I did  
like was martial arts that daddy had taught me when I was  
younger, although the lessons stopped after mother died.  
  
Ranma was a self centered, jerk-wad, pain in the ass,  
and his friend Ryoga seemed like a creep too, although he  
was a married man at the time and he turned out to be a nice  
person to me.  
  
All my years as a teen, I had boys trying to chase after  
me and asking for dates. Of course I went out with a few,  
just a few, just to add to my social status. But every one  
of those boys were just immature jerks who were trying to  
get into my pants. I mean, what am I? A five dollar hooker  
you just pick up an go? Hell no, I'm Akane Tendo, no boy is  
gonna take me. I wanted a man.  
  
So naturally I rejected Ranma at first when we were  
introduced to each other. Me, my sisters, Mr. Saotome, Ranma  
and Ryoga were the only people on the face of this planet  
who could talk to my dad and still argue with him. With any  
other person, dad would've killed him. Ranma of course WAS a  
jerk and insulted me many times. I swear, it's amazing how  
his sister turned out to be such as better person than Ranma  
ever was.  
  
[Ranma]  
  
Whoops. Did I forget to mention I had a younger sister  
named Ranko Saotome?  
  
[Akane]  
  
However, despite what a jerk my husband to be was, the  
one thing that finally got me to respect him was how he  
cared for his sister.  
  
Ranko was like my sister, when we first met we became  
real close. She is the EXACT spitting image of Ranma, only  
four years younger and a couple centimeters shorter with  
flaming bright red hair. She had a pigtail like Ranma too,  
but she was very feminine otherwise and loved wearing  
expensive clothes that showed off her body, although she  
wasn't a scandalous minded girl. She's polite and very kind,  
unlike how Ranma acted at first, and she also has a body  
figure that most women would kill for.  
  
You see, I sympathized with Ranko because she had the  
same problems like I did. Hordes of perverted men always  
tried to chase me for a date. It was quite a problem, seeing  
as how I had to beat them away. Ranko was a modest girl,  
despite being chased all the time she did fend them away.  
Unlike some girls when she was a teenager, she had slow  
relationships with boys and took them seriously, not  
promiscuously.  
  
So, anyways. This one time Ranma and I were out on a  
date that was forced by our parents. Sure we protested a  
little, but me and Ranma just went out by their wishes  
because we didn't want to hear them complaining. It wasn't  
too bad. We just went to a nice park and took a stroll  
there. That's when it happened.  
  
------------------  
  
Flashback  
  
[Akane]  
  
I remember it clearly. We were walking through a park in  
Nerima, just strolling because it was such a nice day. We  
were both around twenty five years old, Ranma and I. Ranko-  
chan was still a college girl, barely twenty one and living  
by herself. Ranma was enjoying himself, like me he liked  
doing things that were very quiet and peaceful in his spare  
time.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
RING. RING.  
  
Ranma frowned and pulled out his cell phone from his  
pocket and clicked it on.  
  
"Moshi-moshi."  
  
Akane could hear sobbing and wailing.  
  
"Oniichan, oniichan!" Akane could here that it was Ranko  
crying.  
  
Ranma looked very worried and a little pale. It made him  
very panicky to hear his sister in any kind of trouble.  
  
"Ranko-chan?! Ranko-chan! What is it?! What's wrong?!"  
he quickly shouted through the phone.  
  
Akane just stood at his side, she was worrying too. What  
could've possible happened to poor Ranko to be distressed  
like this? She heard some mumbling from the earpiece but not  
loud enough to hear what was being said.  
  
"Uh, huh, so where are you right now?" Ranma said.  
  
Another crying wail was heard from the phone, and Ranma  
finally nodded. "Alright, Ranko, alright, just stay put, and  
don't worry. I'll be right there."  
  
"What's wrong Ranma? Is Ranko okay-"  
  
He grabbed her arm and started running back towards his  
car. "No time to talk, we gotta move fast."  
  
[Akane]  
  
And move fast we did. We practically sprinted all the  
way to Ranma's Nissan Skyline GT-R. He floored that car  
halfway across Tokyo, where we found Ranko huddled next to a  
telephone booth near a very trendy club. Ranko was crying  
and with her head hidden in her hands.  
  
Ranma ran over to her and embraced her in a hug. "Who  
did this to you!? Come on, let's get outta here."  
  
The beautiful redheaded girl looked up, Ranma gasped as  
he saw a bruise on her cheek. "He hit me and kicked me out  
of the car!" Ranko sobbed and wailed.  
  
Ranma embraced his sister in a hug. "Shhh. Don't worry.  
I'll take care of everything."  
  
Ranma took his sister back to my place, where Kasumi  
cleaned her up a bit and gave her some tea. Meanwhile, me  
and Ranma went back out.  
  
It seemed that Ranko-chan's boyfriend had tried to push  
their relationship further by trying to take her virginity.  
When Ranko refused, she was promptly slapped around a little  
and her boyfriend ditched her in the middle of nowhere.  
  
If there is one thing you never did to Ranma, it was  
messing with the people he loved.  
  
And right now, Ranma burned rubber as he raced to get to  
the house of Ranko's boyfriend, with a metal bat in his  
hand.  
  
[Narrative}  
  
Ranma's blue Nissan sports car stopped short right in  
front of three guys who were washing a red sports car. They  
stopped as they saw Ranma open up his door with a murderous  
glare in his eyes.  
  
The main guy there, Ranko's boyfriend, immediately  
assumed that it must've been Ranko's brother because they  
looked exactly like each other.  
  
"You wanna piece of me you son of a bitch?" the guy  
taunted. He stopped as soon as he saw Ranma out of the car.  
  
Ranma stepped out with his huge metal baseball bat, and  
walked over quickly and whacked the guy right across his  
chest while he was frozen in fear.  
  
Akane was watching from inside the car, she looked upon  
the barbaric beating Ranma was giving the poor man in horror  
as well as awe.  
  
Ranma whacked the baseball bat against the two other  
guys, knocking them out cold. He threw the bat away and  
pummeled Ranko's boyfriend with his own fist.  
  
"If you ever, EVER, go near her again you motherfucker  
you're fuckin' dead!" BAM! "You hear me!? You're fucking  
dead!!" Ranma screamed.  
  
The man on the ground started coughing out blood, and  
Ranma spit on his face and started to walk away. Being the  
stubborn Japanese man he was, Ranko's now EX-boyfriend  
stupidly let out one last retort.  
  
"I'm glad I didn't get her, she wouldn't have even been  
a good fuck anyway," he croaked and cackled.  
  
The pigtailed man turned around, this time there was a  
flame in his eyes. Ranma growled loudly and pulled out his  
folding pocket knife, he whipped out the blade from the  
handle and walked back towards the downed boy's body.  
  
"Oh yeah you fuck?!" Ranma kicked him hard in the balls,  
making the guy groan in pain. "That's the last time you're  
ever gonna feel anything there for a long time, so enjoy it  
while you can!"  
  
Ranma stabbed and slashed the man's groin violently and  
repeatedly, the man passed out from pain and just laid  
there, bleeding. Ranma took his knife over to a running hose  
near the soapy red car and rinsed off the thick, red blood  
from his blade and handle. Without a word, he got back in  
the car and drove Akane back home.  
  
[Akane]  
  
I don't think I can remember seeing a more horrible  
thing than that in my entire life. But strangely, I didn't  
think badly of Ranma.  
  
End Flashback  
  
------------------  
  
[Akane]  
  
Most girls would've freaked out and ditched their men if  
they found out they were violent maniacs. But I didn't. I  
didn't. You know why? I can't explain it myself. It actually  
turned me on to have a boyfriend like that. It AROUSED me. I  
saw Ranma as a man who was not just a jerk on the outside,  
but on the inside he really did love his family, and as far  
as I can see he respected girls to no end.  
  
I'm pretty sure Ranko-chan doesn't think so, but she  
should be DAMN proud that she has a brother who will beat  
the crap out of people who try to hurt her.  
  
When I finally did marry Ranma, he treated me the same.  
I don't know how it happened. Weird stuff. We just fell in  
love after some time passed and we got married. That was  
also the birth of the Saotome-Tendo Crew. Ranma was a man  
who made me feel all the glitz and glamour I didn't want  
while I was the daughter of a crime kingpin. I had always  
refused daddy's special treats he had set up for me.  
  
But Ranma always managed to talk me into taking me  
places. Whenever we went somewhere, we were VIP's.  
  
[Ranma]  
  
Hey, I can't help it if I love my sister. Like Ryoga, as  
we grew up she was my best friend. I don't know why, but I  
think it was because she was the only one who accepted my  
rude behavior along with Ryoga other than my parents. She  
seemed to be the only person who was still nice to me  
whenever I did bad things. So it's no wonder that I look out  
for her so much.  
  
Like Akane said, as soon as we got married, the Saotome-  
Tendo Crew was born. Oyaji let Tendo-san take over as  
Godfather, since he was a better leader anyway. It didn't  
matter for pops. As long as he had GOD like powers, he was  
happy now. In return, Pop had the privilege of naming the  
new crew as the Saotome-Tendo, not Tendo-Saotome like it was  
originally planned.  
  
A little later after I was married, Oyaji and Tendo-san  
blessed me as a Made man. At the young age of only 26, *I*  
was a Made man. I had finally gotten my button, because I  
was solely responsible for creating the most powerful Yakuza  
family in all of Japan. And I didn't become just ANY Made  
man either. I was THE main man. I was number three in the  
pyramid of power, right after Godfather Soun Tendo and my  
father.  
  
Ryoga was happy for me too, he wasn't jealous one bit.  
He knew he could never become an official Made man, the  
family couldn't possibly give him a button. He wasn't blood  
related to us in any way. But he knew, oh yes, he knew he  
was a Made man in his status though. I personally made sure  
of that. Officially he wasn't, but to me, he was. We were  
considered two of the Untouchables, a couple of goodfellas.  
Like when you refer to a cool guy, like you know, "He's a  
good guy. A good fella." That's how me and Ryoga were.  
  
Yep. Life went along just fine. We had the fortune, we  
had the power. The sky was the limit. Whenever we needed  
cash, we'd always rob the airport or the cargo trucks on the  
freeway. Billions and billions of yen a year went through  
that way. And believe me, we tried to steal every bit of it.  
It's better than your local Wells Fargo. Heh, there's even a  
funny incident where Ryoga went to a bank down in a rural  
place by Okayama because he found out someone was scamming  
him out of his drug money.  
  
------------------  
  
Flashback  
  
[Narrator]  
  
A rogue looking muscular man walked through the door of  
the fancy bank. Although they were in a rural area, that  
bank was big and flourishing with people.  
  
Ryoga was dressed in his favorite clothes, a comfy, old  
yellow shirt and some black slacks. Of course, he also had  
on his trademark black and yellow bandanna.  
  
He casually walked into the office of the bank  
president, without anyone bothering him or stopping him.  
Ryoga let out an evil, fang toothed grin as he saw the fat  
gaijin man in his chair swivel with wide eyes as he saw  
Ryoga.  
  
"Hello Charlie. I've come here because I have a  
problem," Ryoga said while sitting down in a chair right  
next to him.  
  
The man was an American, a Caucasian, which was  
unusually for a bank president in Japan. Nevertheless, he  
spoke Japanese and was a decent businessman.  
  
"What seems to be the problem Ryoga?"  
  
Ryoga looked down at his fingernails and casually rubbed  
them with his thumb. "I was talking to my 'associate', the  
other day, and she told me I was missing some money.  
Specifically, money that was supposed to come from THIS  
bank."  
  
"Really?" Charlie said, trying his best to act  
surprised.  
  
"Yeah," Ryoga paused for a moment and looked up to  
glared at the fat Caucasian man, "-really. I'm missing  
approximately 3.2 million in U.S. cash Charlie. Care to tell  
me? Hmm?"  
  
Charley smirked and raised his hands up. "Yo, I got  
nuthin' for ya. Ya hear me? Nuthin'."  
  
A deep sigh escaped Ryoga's lips. "Don't fuck with me  
Charlie, I'm being awfully nice here. I'll give you a chance  
to give me my money."  
  
"Hey, fuck you," Charlie bravely said. "I ain't got  
nothin', I didn't take nothin'."  
  
Ryoga leaned closer from his chair onto Charlie's desk.  
His face was an expression of calm, like the calm before the  
storm. He sighed a bit.  
  
"Charlie, I think that you got the wrong impression  
about me. I think in all fairness, I should explain to you  
exactly what it is that I do."  
  
Ryoga leaned back in his chair again and continued. "For  
instance, tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, take  
a drive down over to this bank, walk right in and see your  
fat fucking face. And, well, eh... if you don't have my  
money for me, I'll crack your fuckin' head wide open in  
front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time I'm  
coming out of jail... HOPEFULLY," Ryoga gestured, "you'll be  
coming out of your fucking coma," he smiled. "And guess  
what? I'll split your fucking head open again, cause I'm  
fucking stupid. And I don't give a fuck about jail. That's  
my business. That's what the fuck I do," Ryoga finished with  
a grin.  
  
Charlie stood still and tried his best to try and glare  
at Ryoga, but he was too frightened.  
  
But Ryoga wasn't done quite yet. "And we know what you  
do, don't we Charlie? You fuck people out of money and get  
away with it," he growled, his face morphing into a mad  
frown.  
  
Charlie finally decided to defend himself. "Hey, you  
can't talk to me like that!"  
  
Ryoga glared and shouted at Charlie. "Hey, you fat Irish  
prick! You put my fuckin' money to sleep! Now you go get my  
money or I'll put your fuckin' brain to sleep!" Ryoga pulled  
out a big switchblade from his pocket and popped the blade  
open.  
  
Charlie couldn't take it anymore, he had heard of how  
mad Ryoga could get, he didn't want to take it any further.  
"Okay, okay, I'll get your money by next week, Ryoga, I  
swear."  
  
"Next week?" Ryoga frowned and growled again. "Next week  
you fat fuck? So what, you can fuck over people like me and  
steal their money instead to give it to me? No, no, you  
fucker." Ryoga pointed a finger at Charlie. "Tomorrow  
morning. I want it by tomorrow, fucking, morning," Ryoga  
said slowly, tapping soundly on Charlie's desk with each  
word.  
  
"But, I'm just a little confused where the money is,  
that's all. I need to find it, track it down, you know?"  
Charlie chuckled nervously.  
  
"Confused?" Ryoga gently said. He looked over and  
pointed to some windows. "Maybe if I stick your fucking face  
through those windows, you'll get like, you know, UN-  
confused. Gimme the fuckin' money by tomorrow."  
  
"Ye-yes sir. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Charlie stuttered,  
defeated.  
  
Ryoga got up out of his seat and walked out. He turned  
around before exiting the door. "That's a good fat ass, good  
piggy. If I don't see my money tomorrow, I won't only kill  
you, I'll kill your entire fucking family too, remember  
that. Sayonara, ya fat fuck."  
  
[Ranma]  
  
But of course, Charlie being the stupid fat fuck he is,  
does something to me and Ryoga later and he pays big time  
for it. But I'll come to that later.  
  
End Flashback  
  
-----------------  
  
[Ranma]  
  
Like I said before, Ryoga's bad temper and hostile  
attitude was gonna get him in trouble one day. And it did.  
Unbeknownst to us, a bad incident managed to get us all by  
surprise, one night. It wasn't THAT big a deal at the time,  
even though it was, and even though it wouldn't affect us  
until a long time later. That night was well, tonight. Just  
a few hours ago in fact.  
  
-----------------  
  
Flashback  
  
[Ranma]  
  
Oh yes. Just about ten hours ago, I opened up my first  
joint. It was an American style restaurant/pub, the kind of  
place people went for great food and great drinks. The place  
was out of the way from big cities, it was near the  
mountains, although where exactly, it doesn't matter. I'm  
only 32 years old now. I hate to say it, but I think me and  
Ryoga are getting fucking old.  
  
The opening of the place was private, only for family  
and friends. Ryoga didn't happen to make it until later  
during the night time. Pops, Mr. Tendo, my wife and  
children, Akari and Shin-chan, all of them came during the  
day. By 9:00 PM, almost everyone was gone. Only a couple of  
guys were left, a couple of small time gangsters controlled  
by the family and a couple of drug lieutenants. All  
completely loyal to me.  
  
What I didn't expect however, was for uninvited guests.  
  
You see, right around 9:10, a Nyuuchiezuu member came  
in. A very important Nyuuchiezuu, in fact. His name was  
Mousse. No last name, no nothing, just Mousse. He was a  
cocky asshole, one of only a few Made males in the  
Nyuuchiezuu Crew. He wore a stupid Chinese robe, a bright  
white one, and he had long hair like a damn woman. Him and a  
couple of his fuckin' call girls, most likely Chinese  
bimbos. He'll probably do em' and lose em'.  
  
You see, the Nyuuchiezuu's are my fucking born enemy.  
Why? Despite being Chinese in a Japanese land, they have the  
nerve to try to take some control themselves. In a foreign  
land. Unfortunately, ever since the Saotome-Tendo Crew was  
created, they are looked down upon by our leaders. But it  
don't matter to them. They're all the same. They try to take  
some of the heisting business for themselves, and they too  
have some vicious assassins. Especially the Crew's chief's  
granddaughter, Shampoo. Funny how they're fucking names  
sound like fucking bathroom products.  
  
However, despite how much I hate them, Oyaji and Tendo-  
san have warned me repeatedly to never start a fucking war  
with them. It was better to be peaceful and at full bloom,  
than to be overpowering and at half bloom. Some shit like  
that.  
  
So, out of my parents' wishes, I let the chink  
motherfucker in and served him what he wanted. Mousse also  
knew that our families were under a peaceful treaty. But  
that didn't stop him from being an asshole.  
  
Of course, the worst thing happened. At around 9:20,  
Ryoga came in, with Ucchan by his side.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
Ryoga breezed in through the thick wooden door with a  
laughing Ukyo behind him. Ukyo was Ranma's best friend, but  
her and Ryoga were quite a friendly pair as well.  
  
"Hey Ranma! We made it!" greeted Ryoga.  
  
Ranma lifted his head up, he'd been in a rotten mood  
after seeing Mousse come in. Ryoga was his best friend, but  
he felt even worse when he saw him.  
  
"Hey Ryoga, hey Ucchan," Ranma tried to greet them as  
enthusiastically as he could.  
  
"Well, well, well. If it isn't Ryoga Hibiki."  
  
Ryoga's bright smile disappeared, replaced by a neutral  
face. He looked at Mousse sitting down on the bar in front  
of Ranma. Unfortunately, Ryoga too knew the informal treaty  
the two Crews had, so he said nothing and sat down.  
  
Ranma directed both Ryoga and Ukyo to two bar seats a  
couple feet away from Mousse.  
  
"What'll it be you two?" Ranma asked.  
  
Ukyo looked hard at Ranma's selection of poisons. "I  
think I'll have a boilermaker, I'm feeling naughty today,"  
Ukyo grinned.  
  
Ryoga tried to smile, but he failed miserably. "I'll  
just have a watered down Vodka Ranma, I don't feel like  
gettin' woozy tonight."  
  
"Sure guys, no problem." Ranma first poured Ryoga's  
drink in a crystal cup and started mixing up Ukyo's.  
  
The three tried to ignore the presence of Mousse for a  
moment and finally engaged in some regular conversation. The  
three friends laughed amongst themselves in happiness, until  
they heard Mousse and his girls cackling.  
  
"---he used to get lost in closets I tell you! Couldn't  
find his way for anything!" Mousse laughed.  
  
Ryoga grimaced himself, and Ranma and Ukyo both tried to  
calm him down.  
  
"Come on Mousse, that was years ago, back when we were  
still in middle school," Ryoga said.  
  
Ranma looked a little shocked. Ryoga KNEW Mousse? Back  
in middle school?  
  
Mousse waved his hands in apology, "Hey, hey. I'm only  
busting your balls a lil' bit, that's all."  
  
Ryoga merely waved him off and went back to sipping his  
drink.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. So, any who. Back then, Ryoga  
over here had to use fucking bread crumbs to mark a trail  
from his way back home or wherever he went to find his way.  
I swear, got lost anywhere! He used bread crumbs for crying  
out loud!" Mousse laughed. It seemed some of the other  
idiots in the room were chuckling, trying hard to hide their  
laughter. They knew the fury Ryoga could unleash on them,  
since they were under the Saotome-Tendo family.  
  
"No more bread crumbs Mousse."  
  
"What?" Mousse surprisingly looked over and shifted in  
his seat to face Ryoga.  
  
Ryoga decided to watch himself and try to talk  
peacefully. "I said no more bread crumbs. Maybe you didn't  
here about it, we haven't met in a long time and I guess  
they didn't go up there and tell you about it. I don't use  
bread crumbs anymore. I don't get lost like that. I have  
chauffeurs, GPS trackers, servants. I don't get lost no  
more."  
  
[Ranma]  
  
NOW I know why the hell Ryoga gets so irritated every  
time he sees a Nyuuchiezuu.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
"Relax for crying out loud," Mousse scoffed. He took a  
big swig of his drink. "What's gotten into you? I'm only  
breakin' your balls a little bit, that's all. I'm only  
kidding with ya." Mousse said sarcastically.  
  
Ryoga tried to suppress a glare. "Sometimes you don't  
sound like you're kidding. You know, there's a lot of people  
around."  
  
Mousse however gave him a rude smirk. "I'm only kidding  
with you. We're having a party. I mean I just came here and  
I haven't seen you in a long time and I'm breakin' your  
balls and right away you're getting fuckin' fresh. I'm  
sorry, I don't mean to offend you."  
  
Ryoga clenched his teeth for a moment and sighed. "Yeah,  
it's all right. No problem. I'm sorry. Let's forget about  
it."  
  
Mousse lifted his drink in the air, "Don't worry about  
it. I propose a toast." Mousse drank off the rest of the  
liquor in his glass and slammed it lightly on the bar  
counter. "Now go get your fuckin' bread crumbs!" Mousse  
sneered.  
  
Ranma and Ukyo's eyes opened wide as they say Ryoga's  
face twist into a rage. Ryoga slammed his glass down on the  
counter, smashing it. He tried to charge Mousse from his  
seat but was barely restrained by Ranma and Ukyo.  
  
"You muthafuckin' mutt!" Ryoga roared. He tried to  
stretch his arms out to strangle Mousse. "You-you fucking  
piece of shit!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah! Come on! Come on Ryoga what you got huh?  
What you got!" Mousse taunted from out of his seat.  
  
Ranma tried to push Ryoga out of the restaurant to try  
to prevent a disaster.  
  
"Let me go Ranma!" screamed Ryoga. "Ranma, he bought his  
fuckin' button, that fake old tough guy!" struggled Ryoga.  
"You bought your fuckin' button you fake tough guy! You, you  
motherfuck!" Ranma and Ukyo managed to get the flaming red  
Ryoga to the door.  
  
"Forget about it Ryoga, come on, let's go!" Ranma tried  
to reason.  
  
"Come on Ryoga, let's get out of here, leave that jerk  
alone!" Ukyo struggled while pulling him back.  
  
"Fuck! Keep that motherfucker here," Ryoga snarled at  
Ranma. "Keep him here, keep him here!"  
  
The only thing Mousse did was burst into sarcastic  
laughter. "Come on! Ya fuckin' feel strong?! You fag!"  
  
[Ranma]  
  
The tragedy here? Mousse wasn't gonna live to see the  
light of another day because he was gonna choke on those  
words.  
  
It was about 10:50 by the time it was only me and Mousse  
left in the entire restaurant. Ukyo left, Mousse paid off  
his whores, and all the wiseguys in the room left too. I  
made sure that they wouldn't remember a single thing about  
what happened earlier tonight.  
  
By now, Mousse was guzzling down his eighth drink, all  
powerful. He was pretty much plastered. Of course, he didn't  
notice the restaurant door opening and closing quietly while  
a certain lost boy slowly walked up behind him. I pretended  
that nothing happened.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
Ryoga's dark face slowly crept up behind Mousse. He  
tapped Mousse's shoulder, who subsequently turned around.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Mousse turned to see Ryoga's face right in front of him,  
twisted in a mask of anger.  
  
Ryoga clamped Mousse's throat with his powerful hands  
and slammed him on the hard linoleum floor.  
  
"You fucking piece of shit!" Ryoga growled. He brutally  
and mercilessly kicked Mousse in the face and ribs  
repeatedly as hard as he could. Mousse screamed out in  
wretching pain.  
  
Ranma jumped over the counter and looked out the windows  
to watch out for anyone nearby. No one was around, the  
forest they were in was pitch black and deserted.  
  
"You damn Chinese, rice picking fuck!" Ryoga stomped his  
boot on Mousse's eye, which exploded from the pressure and  
the sharp glass from his broken glasses. "Let's see how  
funny you are now you fucking chink!"  
  
Ranma tried to hold his friend back. "Come on Ryoga,  
that's enough, I think he's dead now!"  
  
Ryoga tried to reach for Ranma's gun, but was stopped by  
Ranma's quick hands. "Let me shoot him in his big fuckin'  
mouth, Ranma! Let me shoot him in his big fucking mouth!"  
Ryoga pleaded. When Ranma saw his face, it was covered in  
blood from Mousse.  
  
"Fuck no. Let's get rid of this prick. If you shoot him  
here someone could hear the gunshot." Ranma pushed Ryoga  
away and pointed to the bathroom. "Wash your fuckin' face  
off Ryoga, and help me with this body."  
  
Now a little recovered from his rage, Ryoga started to  
function logically again. He started to back up towards the  
restroom, his eyes shifted over to Ranma. "I'm sorry for  
getting blood all over your floor Ranma," Ryoga tried to  
chuckle weakly.  
  
The only response he got was a glare from Ranma, who  
signaled him with a nod to get to the bathroom. While Ryoga  
was busy washing his face and hands, Ranma wrapped up  
Mousse's body with one of the table cloths.  
  
[Ranma]  
  
That fucking chinker had no idea what he fucked with.  
Another victim of underestimating Ryoga. Mount Saint-  
fucking-Helens couldn't have produced a bigger blast.  
  
I swear, that apology Ryoga gave chilled me a bit. He  
was sincere about it, but he was sorry that he got blood all  
over the floor, not for killing Mousse.  
  
End Flashback  
  
----------------  
  
[Ranma]  
  
So here we are back to where we started from.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
"Mousse, you're still alive you piece of shit!? You rat  
motherfucker!" Ryoga snarled. He hastily got closer to the  
trunk and stabbed him repeatedly in the chest. "Die you  
Chinese motherfucker!"  
  
As soon as Ryoga backed out of the way Ranma pointed his  
small revolver at Mousse's face and shot off three rounds.  
  
"All in a day's work, eh? We coulda done that a lot  
cleaner." Ranma sighed. "Now my trunk is gonna reek."  
  
[Ranma]  
  
And that's how that happened. We drove a little further  
up the mountain before we found a proper digging spot. It  
was some deep, flat place up in the forest mountains, a  
place where no one would think to go.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
Ranma stopped shoveling for a second and wiped the sweat  
off his brow. Ryoga was still busily digging away with a  
grin on his face.  
  
Ryoga stopped for a moment too, and wiped the sweat off  
of his head. He looked up at Ranma. "Funny shit ain't it?"  
he chuckled.  
  
Ranma sighed, "Yeah, it's real funny Ryoga, real funny."  
Ranma picked up his shovel and started digging again. "Let's  
hurry up and bury this guy and get the fuck outta here."  
  
Ryoga nodded and resumed back to digging.  
  
[Ranma]  
  
We had a... hmm... whew...-We had a serious problem  
here. It was quite a touchy subject. Ryoga had just killed a  
Made man. Mousse was part of the Nyuuchiezuu Crew, which  
made him one of the Untouchables, just like we were. The  
thing is, Ryoga gets the power and respect of a Made man,  
but officially he isn't. He's just a regular wiseguy when  
looked upon by other crews.  
  
That night, we vowed never to tell anyone about this. Of  
course, after a while news spread about the disappearance of  
a Made man from the Chinese, but no one ever found out what  
really happened or where the body was.  
  
  
* * *  
  
  
[Ranma]  
  
Life went on for the next couple years rather peaceful  
and... eh... routine is what I'd call it. Nothing big or  
special happened, we still robbed the airport, still robbed  
the cargo trucks, the same old, same old. Ryoga did his own  
little operations, to bring in a good amount of dough with  
little effort. He didn't whack many people, just maybe one  
or two, and that was out of necessity, an order given by Pop  
or Godfather Tendo.  
  
One day, however, I caught onto a little plan of Ryoga's  
that caught my attention. I had a little meeting with him  
about it.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
Two men faced each other in front of a quiet, deserted  
beach, the sunset painted in the background. Ranma had his  
arms crossed, and he seemed to be pondering something. Ryoga  
had his hands in his pockets, waiting for Ranma to say  
something.  
  
"You wanna tell me what this is about Ranma?" Ryoga  
asked.  
  
Ranma broke out of his reverie and looked over to Ryoga.  
"Why don't you tell me Ryoga."  
  
Ryoga lifted his eyebrows. "What are you talking about?  
I don't understand."  
  
A chuckle came out of Ranma's lips, he sighed for a  
moment. "I found out that you were planning a heist, that  
consisted of over ten people. I heard that this heist, is  
gonna take place at the Tokyo Airport," Ranma said. Before  
Ryoga could say something, he continued. "Now, I have  
absolutely no problem with you making your own heists 'cause  
you're pretty good at it. But I KNOW, that something is  
wrong when you plan a heist that utilizes more than TEN-  
-ten, FUCKING, people."  
  
Ryoga fidgeted nervously for a second, he didn't say  
anything.  
  
"Do you care to tell me about any of this? Hmm?" Ranma  
looked at Ryoga questioningly. "What's the score Ryoga? How  
much is it?"  
  
Ryoga finally sighed. There were only a few people Ryoga  
respected, and one of them was Ranma. "The purse is 500  
million dollars, U.S. cash."  
  
Ranma froze for a second. He was utterly stunned. "Fi-  
fi-five HUNDRED million dollars?" he finally asked  
incredulously.  
  
Ryoga nodded. "Yeah, 500 mil. I'm planning to transport  
it on a truck, I got it all figured out."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me about this, huh?"  
  
Ryoga fidgeted again. "I wanted to do this by myself."  
  
Ranma rolled his eyes. "Yeah, real smart you fucking  
idiot. You know better than that!"  
  
Ryoga started to lose his temper. "Hey! I fucking wanted  
to do it alright! I'm fucking good enough! I don't need to  
ask you to come over here!"  
  
Ranma gave him a cold, hammering, glare. Ryoga flinched  
for a second. He was a bad tempered man himself, but when  
Ranma got mad, a rare case, bad things happened out of  
nowhere.  
  
"You know better than this! I'm disappointed in you,  
really!" Ranma yelled.  
  
Ryoga was stubborn enough to retort. "Hey, I didn't want  
your fucking help! You remember what you said?! You said I  
could do my own heists and it was fine with you!"  
  
"Back up, back the fuck up," Ranma gestured. He got  
closer to Ryoga and got in his face. Ryoga didn't dare do  
anything. "I ask you? When the FUCK do I ever have to ask  
YOU if I can come here?! Get this through your head you-"  
  
"But--" Ryoga replied nervously.  
  
"Get this through your head you stupid muthafucker you!  
You only exist out here because of me! That's the only  
reason! Without me, a fucking busload of fucking wiseguys  
will personally come and take a piece of your fucking stupid  
ass! You maybe strong, but you ain't fucking invincible!  
Heh?" Ranma yelled in his face. "You're practically my  
brother Ryoga, to me, Pops, Tendo-san, the crew, you're a  
Made man. Especially to me! But the other crews don't know  
that. If they get you, that's it!"  
  
Ryoga listened silently without uttering a word.  
  
"Then where are you gonna go? Huh?" Ranma gave Ryoga a  
shove. "You're fuckin' warned. Don't EVER go over my fuckin'  
head again, you motherfucker, you."  
  
Ryoga sighed, and sincerely apologized. "I'm sorry  
Ranma, I guess I was over my head for once there."  
  
Ranma sighed too, "I'm sorry too, man. But, 500 mil?  
Come on Ryoga. That's a lot of money. You should've asked  
for my help. I'll let you keep the bulk of the money, I  
don't want much of it, only a couple million. Is that  
alright with you?"  
  
Ryoga smiled. "Yeah. Thanks Ranma. That's perfectly fine  
with me. I don't mind if you take more."  
  
"It's alright, it's alright. Let's get the fuck outta  
here and plan this thing, shall we?"  
  
[Ranma]  
  
Heh. I guess even friends have their bouts every once in  
a while. But it didn't matter. In a few weeks, Ryoga was  
about to execute the biggest fucking heist in the history of  
the Tokyo Airport.  
  
* * *  
  
[Narrative]  
  
A bunch of men and one girl were sitting around a round  
table, drinks were everywhere. They had maps, papers, and a  
whole lotta chatting going on.  
  
[Ranma]  
  
Just a few days before the heist, Me, Ryoga, and the  
rest of our heist crew met up together to go over the final  
plans.  
  
Ryoga wasn't kidding. It WAS a genius plan. But the  
details of it aren't really important. The plan was to take  
over a Nippon Airline jumbo jet, one that is supposed to be  
"secretly" carrying 500 million dollars in U.S. cash. All  
thousand dollar bills. The Saotome-Tendo Crew has an  
excellent money launderer, so it didn't matter if the money  
was valid or invalid.  
  
The plan was to hijack the plane, quickly transport the  
5 huge cases of money onto a large Isuzu cargo truck, then  
get the fuck outta there. Fortunately for us, the Japanese  
police don't have a very good and responsive counter-  
attacking special forces team. The federal government wasn't  
much better either. Everything was gonna go along perfectly.  
  
  
The meeting place before the heist was at Hiroshi and  
Daisuke's restaurant. They had a large sound proof  
underground floor where we could talk in private. Hiroshi  
was our "waiter." Daisuke had the day off.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
"So, this is how it's gonna go. We do all the things  
that I said before, and it will all work out perfectly."  
Ryoga said. He looked over to the only girl in the room.  
"Now Kodachi, YOU have one of the most important jobs. You  
take care of the truck, then all will be finished."  
  
[Ranma]  
  
Ryoga and I hired a bunch of small time thugs right out  
of the streets to take part in our operation. Even that fat  
ass gaijin Charlie from the bank was in on it. We decided  
not to use any of the people in the Crew. Ryoga hired  
Kodachi Kuno to be the truck driver. You see, she was kicked  
out of the Kuno Manor a couple of weeks ago because she was  
just snorting too much fucking snow. Heh. So Ryoga offered  
her a kilo of crack to do the riskiest job in the entire  
heist.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
"Sure thing boss," Kodachi said. "I'll take care of it."  
  
"Good." Ryoga said. He broke out into a huge grin. "Then  
it's all settled. In two days, we'll be having a lotta fun."  
  
Hiroshi came by at that moment and served everyone some  
more liquor. Everyone except Ryoga.  
  
"Hey, where's mine Hiro?" Ryoga asked.  
  
Hiroshi looked annoyed. He was still bitter about Ryoga  
after all these years. "I thought you didn't want anything."  
  
"I asked for a Sprite with a touch of vodka," Ryoga  
said, glaring up at Hiroshi.  
  
"I thought you said, 'I'm all right Hiroshi', I thought  
that's what you said," Hiroshi replied, ignoring Ryoga's  
annoyed expression.  
  
"No, *I'm* all right, you're not. I asked for a fucking  
drink," Ryoga mocked.  
  
"I'm sorry Ryoga," Hiroshi finally said. "I'll go get it  
now."  
  
Ryoga scoffed at him. "You better go get it you dumb  
fuck. Pfft, shit."  
  
Hiroshi, clenched his teeth for a second. "I thought, I  
thought--"  
  
Ryoga mocked Tweety Bird, "I tought, I tought-" He  
gestured over to Hiroshi. "You've been doing this to me all  
night you motherfucker. What the fuck's the matter with  
you?"  
  
"Nothing, Ryoga, nothing's wrong with me," Hiroshi  
replied lamely.  
  
Ryoga blew a sigh of exasperation. "You've been putting  
me on a fucking 'don't mind him' list you motherfucking  
rat!" Ryoga threw a paperweight from the table at the back  
of Hiroshi's head. "Now go get my fuckin' drink!"  
  
The paperweight hit the back of Hiroshi's head hard.  
Hiroshi groaned loudly in pain and turned around, he  
couldn't take it anymore. He glared at Ryoga. "Why don't you  
go fuck yourself Ryoga? You stupid lost boy."  
  
The room became absolutely silent as Ryoga just leaned  
back in his seat and just stared at Hiroshi from across the  
room. His face was a pensive, eerie calm. Hiroshi merely  
smirked while still staring Ryoga down.  
  
Ranma was the first to let out a small laugh. The others  
joined, but not loudly. "Whoa, whoa! Jeez! Hey Hiroshi!"  
Ranma pulled out a 10,000 yen bill from his wallet and put  
it on the table. "This is for you man! You've got some  
balls, kid! What the hell's this world coming to? Jeez  
Ryoga, you gonna take that from him-"  
  
Ryoga grabbed Ranma's small revolver from his holster  
and shot off all six rounds on Hiroshi's chest. Hiroshi went  
down with a yelp and dropped dead.  
  
Ryoga smirked and put the gun back in Ranma's hand, who  
was frozen still.  
  
"You wanna know what the world's coming to?" Ryoga  
pointed to Hiroshi's dead body. "That's what the fuck the  
world's coming to."  
  
Charlie's overweight body got up from the chair and  
walked over to Hiroshi's dead body. There wasn't much blood  
yet.  
  
"Shit... Jesus Christ, he's dead, man. He's fucking dead  
man..." Charlie slowly let out.  
  
"What, do you got a problem with what I did Charlie?"  
Ryoga asked. "Fucking rat anyway, his whole family's all  
rats. Who'd wanna live to be a rat?"  
  
Ranma snapped out of his frozen state and grabbed Ryoga.  
"You fucking stupid bastard! I can't fucking believe you!"  
Ranma exclaimed in disbelief. "Now you're gonna dig the  
fucking thing up, you're gonna dig the hole. You're gonna do  
it. I got no fucking time to help you, you're gonna do it  
yourself!"  
  
Ryoga backed off from Ranma and walked over to Hiroshi's  
body. He spit on Hiroshi's dead face. "Who the fuck cares?  
I'll dig the fuckin' hole, I don't give a fuck," Ryoga  
sneered. "What is it the first hole I dug? First time I dug  
a hole, I'll dig the fuckin' hole." Ryoga looked around.  
"Where are the fucking shovels?"  
  
Ranma sighed and pointed to a closet. "They're in the  
maintenance room. Make sure you bury that guy where no one  
will find him."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Ryoga said, waving off Ranma.  
  
[Ranma]  
  
Ryoga's damn temper got the best of him again. It didn't  
really matter, Hiroshi wasn't even part of the operation  
anyway. But it's still a bitch to get rid of a body every  
time you whack someone you don't want anyone to find out.  
Poor Daisuke, he took it pretty hard when he found out, but  
he didn't say nothing, he just kept it all in.  
  
* * *  
  
[Ranma]  
  
The next two days breezed by faster than I ever would've  
imagined. The airline robbery took place at night. It went  
by fucking beautifully.  
  
I heard everything on the radio. Our guys were in and  
out, quick as a flash. The news reported that the fuckin'  
cops had arrived too late, and the money would most likely  
be never seen again. The homing beacons that were attached  
to the money cases were dumped on another airplane, which  
was stopped over in Korea and raided. Heh. We got away  
scott-free.  
  
The next morning, we gave our truck driver a little  
visit. Just me and Ryoga.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
A low moan was heard from the chair in Kodachi's tiny  
home. For some reason, instead of sleeping on the bed which  
was right in front of her, Kodachi was sleeping on her chair  
instead. Her head was spinning round and round. She heard a  
pounding sound from somewhere.  
  
"Argh... damn this fucking headache," she moaned.  
  
Actually, it was the sound of Ryoga banging on her door  
outside with Ranma.  
  
"Kodachi! Open up you crack head bitch!" Ryoga tried to  
yell from outside, banging on her door.  
  
Fortunately, everyone in the small neighborhood they  
were in were gone, all either gone to school or off to work.  
Weird coincidence.  
  
Kodachi stumbled over to the door and opened it for  
Ryoga.  
  
"Hey boys..." Kodachi slurred.  
  
"It's about fucking time you wake up, sheesh," replied  
Ryoga. He brushed off some dust on his trench coat. Ranma  
walked in from behind Ryoga.  
  
"Hey Kodachi. You just wake up?" Ranma asked.  
  
"Yes, Ranma-sama... I just did," Kodachi purred. Ranma  
snorted in disgust. "I need some coffee."  
  
"I'll go brew some fucking coffee in the kitchen," Ranma  
said, walking off.  
  
Ryoga looked at Kodachi. She was half naked in only her  
bra and a pair of shorts. "Come on, get your fucking clothes  
on, you're late."  
  
"I am?" Kodachi asked. She clumsily stumbled back into  
her bedroom and sat down on the chair. She put on some  
crumpled clothes that were lying around.  
  
"Yeah, you're late. We were supposed to have a meeting  
at 8 o'clock, this morning. It's already 9:00 AM," Ryoga  
said. He looked annoyed and irritated.  
  
Kodachi stretched and started to put some socks on. "Uh,  
yeah... Sorry about that Ryoga, it won't happen again."  
  
Ryoga scoffed, "I know it won't. Late, late, late.  
You're always fucking late Kuno." He circled around behind  
her chair. "You'd be late to your own fucking funeral."  
Ryoga aimed a silenced pistol against Kodachi's head and  
shot the back of her head. Her brains were blown out against  
the white sheets of the bed in front of her. Kodachi threw  
herself in the bed with a large grunt out of a surprise  
reflex.  
  
Ryoga had pulled out a silenced black Beretta 96FS from  
his trench coat when Kodachi wasn't looking, it was one of  
the few guns the Saotome-Tendo Crew had that was for icing  
people.  
  
Ryoga walked up closer to Kodachi's downed body and shot  
another three rounds into her chest and the side of her  
head. The gun made a resounding THUMP with each shot. He  
went to his right and picked up the four shell casings his  
gun had ejected.  
  
[Ranma]  
  
You see, last night, instead of getting rid of the truck  
after unloading the money like she was supposed to, Kodachi  
got high and completely forgot about it.  
  
This morning the top news was that there was an  
abandoned truck found in some large alley in Tokyo, it  
matched the exact same description as the truck used in last  
night's daring airport heist. In fact, the fucking cops  
claimed they found some fingerprints and that they were  
rushing to match the owners of the prints.  
  
It was only a matter of time before the cops would get  
to Kodachi.  
  
We didn't give a fuck about the Kuno family. They  
thought it was someone else, they tried to track down some  
crime group in Osaka or some shit. The fucking crackers.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
Ryoga sighed and shook his head with narrowed eyes at  
Kodachi's dead corpse as he walked out the room. "Fuckin'  
dumb bitch..."  
  
Ranma walked back into the genkan and saw Ryoga. "You  
finish her?" Ryoga nodded. "Good, let's get the fuck outta  
here."  
  
[Ranma]  
  
And that was it. We had no more evidence to get us  
caught. We were home free. The 500 million was Ryoga's  
catch, I gave him full credit for it. Oyaji and Godfather  
Tendo learned about the heist after, but they didn't say a  
thing because Ryoga gave them a generous 10% tribute, 50 mil  
in cold hard cash. He gave me a generous 25 million, I was  
only planning to take about 10 at the most. Another 75  
million was to be distributed among the other participants  
of the heist, leaving Ryoga with a nice hefty, 350 million  
fucking smackaroos to play with. But we all put it in an  
account and saved it, along with the money of the other crew  
members. We weren't dumb enough to get some heat on us by  
using up the money. Chances were, there were feds watching  
us already. Pop, Tendo-san, and I put our money somewhere  
else, with Nabiki.  
  
BUT, of course. One fucking moron had to jeopardize us  
all with his selfish acts.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
Charlie sat in the front seat of the strange sedan,  
Ranma was at the driver's side on the right, and Ryoga was  
right behind him. It was late at night, and they were in a  
dark alley. The only light available was from the ceiling of  
the car roof. He was sweating heavily, hopefully they didn't  
know what had happened.  
  
"Charlie, Charlie, why does this shit always happen when  
you're involved?" Ryoga tapped on his shoulder. "Why?"  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about Ryoga, heh,"  
Charlie chuckled nervously.  
  
Ranma sighed, "Charlie you fat ass bastard. We trusted  
you with 425 million dollars in the bank. Specifically your  
bank. Now, that's 350 million dollars of Ryoga's money, and  
75 million dollars of the rest of the crew's money. Where  
the fuck did it go?"  
  
"I didn't do nothing! I swear! It's all there!" Charlie  
said desperately.  
  
"Uh, huh," Ryoga smirked. "That's exactly what your  
secretary said before I broke her fucking neck and checked  
your computers myself." Ryoga pulled out a Polaroid picture  
that Ranma had taken. It showed a dead woman, Charlie's  
sister in fact, and her neck was twisted in an abnormal way.  
  
"Last time, or else I'm gonna fucking kill you, your  
family, your relatives, any of those faggits who are related  
to you," Ryoga calmly said.  
  
Charlie started crying like a girl. "My wife and my kid  
has it! I'm sorry, we were trying to scam our way out! I'm  
supposed to meet her tomorrow afternoon on a beachside cliff  
with my son!"  
  
Ryoga frowned and scowled. "What!? Your wife has it? All  
of it?!"  
  
"Yeah, the entire trunk is filled with cash!" Charlie  
cried.  
  
Ranma punched Charlie in the stomach hard and grabbed  
his shirt. "Where!?! Where you fucking fat Irish fuck!?  
Where are you supposed to meet them?!" If any of this got  
out, Ranma and Ryoga were gonna get caught by the cops and  
the money would be traceable to them.  
  
Charlie sniffed and pulled out a map from his pocket. "I  
marked it in the map!" he cried. "It's gonna be in  
Hokkaido!"  
  
"Fuck," Ranma sighed. He let go of Charlie and faced  
Ryoga in the back. "You're gonna have to hustle in order to  
get to her Ryoga, we don't have much time."  
  
Ryoga nodded and breathed a sigh of frustration.  
  
Charlie started to calm down. "So, you're not gonna kill  
me and my family?" he asked desperately.  
  
"No. We won't you fat fuck," Ranma said. He signaled to  
Ryoga. "Let's get outta here."  
  
Charlie breathed a sigh of relief, but his eyes opened  
wide and he flopped dead. His head banged the side of the  
door lifelessly.  
  
Ryoga slowly pulled out a large ice pick from the back  
of Charlie's head. He wiped the blood off with Charlie's  
shirt. "Shit. I thought he'd never shut the fuck up. Yeah  
Ranma, we're finished here."  
  
Ranma and Ryoga both stepped out of the car and removed  
the leather gloves they were wearing and threw them in the  
car. Ranma dropped off a forged suicide note claiming that  
Charlie was the one who set up the airport heist. It didn't  
matter if it was believable or not, as long as it took some  
heat off of them. Because of this complication by Charlie,  
more problems were made.  
  
[Ranma]  
  
That's how fast it takes for a guy to get whacked. One  
dumb move, POW, you're DEAD. Because of this idiot, we had a  
couple more problems. This could get complicated.  
  
* * *  
  
[Ranma]  
  
Ryoga did meet up with Charlie's wife and son the next  
day, far off on Hokkaido. I didn't come along because I  
wanted to spend some time with my wife and kids.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
Charlie's wife looked over the cliff and down at the  
jagged rocks on the bottom of the beach. She must've been  
about 150 meters up from down there. Nanako was a greedy  
woman. She married Charlie mostly for his money, and today  
that would pay off completely. Just her son and her husband,  
they would all run far away and live happily for the rest of  
their lives.  
  
She looked around her surroundings, nothing but green  
fields and clear blue sky. There wasn't a single person  
around for kilometers. Her 16 year old son was just like  
her, greedy and selfish. He was a con artist, just like his  
father.  
  
Nanako saw a big SUV drive up to where they were. She  
let out a big smile, it seemed Charlie had bought a big  
fancy 4x4 to caddy them around. She looked at her large  
Toyota, which was parked far away on the road. She couldn't  
take it up to the cliff because of the bumpy road.  
  
The SUV stopped right in front of her, and from the  
right side door Ryoga hopped out, he had a big silenced  
revolver in his hand.  
  
Nanako's eyes bugged out, she ran over to her son who  
was also frightened.  
  
"Who are you!? Where's Charlie?!" Nanako cried.  
  
Ryoga was in no mood for smirks and any humor. He was  
downright pissed right now. "His fucking fat ass is rotting  
in the front of a sedan in downtown Tokyo. What'd you do  
with my fucking money?" Ryoga asked. He pointed his gun at  
the two.  
  
"You son of a bitch!" cried Nanako's son. He had tears  
in his eyes. "You killed my dad!?"  
  
"Shut the fuck up!" Ryoga roared. He faced Nanako again.  
"Where the fuck is my money? I'm about to make you two very  
holy, and I DON'T mean religiously," he growled.  
  
"It's in the back of my trunk!" screamed Nanako,  
defeated. "It's all there!"  
  
Ryoga breathed a sigh of relief in a long while.  
"Great." He glared at the two. "I warned your fucking  
husband not to fuck with me again. I KNOW you, you damn  
bloodsucking bitch. Last time Charlie fucked with me YOU  
were the one who suggested to steal MY fuckin' money." Ryoga  
walked forward, the frightened mom and son slowly bordered  
back, until they were at the at the edge of the cliff.  
  
Nanako panicked. Everything he had just said was true.  
She was the one who had pushed Charlie to scam people for  
their pleasure.  
  
"Fuck you! I'm not afraid of you!" cried the teenager  
hugging his mother.  
  
Ryoga gave a wicked grin, and emptied his gun on the  
boy. The poor teenager fell off the cliff dead, plummeting  
down to the jagged rocks.  
  
"NOOO!!!!" screamed Nanako.  
  
"You're next bitch," Ryoga kicked her off as she was  
screaming for her kid. She fell down and plummeted to her  
death at the bottom.  
  
[Ranma]  
  
I know it sounds really ridiculous, but Ryoga is a guy  
who loves kids. He loves them. But only his own kids and my  
kids. I knew he was gonna kill that woman and her son. Ryoga  
had promised that to Charlie. And he wasn't lying.  
  
I don't think I could've handled watching a kid die like  
that. But nevertheless, the mission was accomplished. Ryoga  
got all the money back.  
  
But now, we had another problem. The other members of  
the Nippon Airline heist were getting greedy too, Charlie  
seemed to have influenced some bad ideas in their head.  
  
The solution? We had to fucking whack them all. It  
didn't matter. They were all a bunch of small time nobodies.  
  
Ryoga and I led them all to a liquid nitrogen plant in  
Nerima, where we pushed them into a vat of liquid nitrogen  
one by one, freezing them. They were dumbfounded with our  
actions as we pointed our guns at em'. When the cops found  
them, they had to wait two days to thaw their bodies before  
doing autopsies. Ryoga gave Pops and Tendo-san another 25  
mil to apologize for some of the mishaps, we were quickly  
forgiven. On the other hand, Ryoga was happy about the  
entire thing in the end. NOW he had 400 million fucking  
dollars in his bank accounts.  
  
-*-*-  
  
[Ranma]  
  
Life went back to normal again, after the Nippon Airline  
heist. We were living the life of the rich and famous again.  
Life couldn't get any better.  
  
Until Ryoga met Daisuke one day.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
"Hey Ryoga!"  
  
Ryoga turned around from his seat in the cafe and turned  
around. It was Daisuke.  
  
"What is it Daisuke?"  
  
"Ranma asked me to get you. He wants to see you right  
now. It's pretty urgent."  
  
Ryoga looked worried. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Just come with me!" Daisuke led Ryoga to his car and  
they started driving.  
  
"All right Daisuke, this better be good. You're wasting  
my motherfucking time, and it's pissing me off."  
  
Daisuke gave him a phony smile and continued driving.  
They arrived at some large house down by Okayama after about  
30 minutes of driving. Daisuke led Ryoga up some stairs and  
took him to a room.  
  
"What's the matter with you Daisuke? What the fuck is  
this?" Ryoga said, as he was entering the room. He froze in  
place as soon as he turned his head.  
  
Nyuuchiezuu. Everywhere.  
  
Ryoga's eyes were wide and he turned to face an evilly  
grinning Daisuke. "You rat motherfucker!" Ryoga turned  
around again and tried to get his knife, but he felt a cold  
barrel behind his head.  
  
"OH NO!!!" Ryoga cried.  
  
BOOM! The blue haired Chinese girl behind him pulled the  
trigger of her Chinese Makarov pistol and blew a hole right  
through the back of Ryoga's skull and out his forehead.  
  
Ryoga dropped dead on the floor with a thud, and the  
blood from his head pumped all over the floor. He didn't  
even twitch, like most people would expect after watching so  
many violent films from La-la land. His entire nervous  
system was wiped out with a single bullet.  
  
The Chinese girl smiled evilly. "And that's that.  
Shampoo finish with you."  
  
The head of the Nyuuchiezuu, Cologne, stepped out from a  
shadow in the corner with a wicked grin on her face. She  
gave an approving nod to Shampoo and turned to Daisuke.  
"Here's the payment for your services young man. All 50,000  
U.S. dollars."  
  
Daisuke greedily took the money, thanking her without  
uttering a word and scampering away.  
  
[Ranma]  
  
You see, the Nyuuchiezuu had bought some land up in the  
mountains where me and Ryoga had buried Mousse. They were  
developing the land up there by coincidence to set up for  
real estate. Unfortunately, someone found a decayed body  
with Chinese white robes, and it was immediately reported to  
the bosses up in the Nyuuchiezuu Crew.  
  
When the Nyuuchiezuu themselves came to the buried body  
up there they identified Mousse with his dental records. I  
don't know how, but I guess they pieced up a bunch of clues  
together and found out it was Ryoga who killed him. With his  
mysterious disappearance that one fateful night, to the  
small rumors that probably popped up just for the sake of  
gossip. Mousse was a Made man, and Ryoga wasn't. And Daisuke  
had ratted him out for merely money. Daisuke had formed a  
personal vendetta against Ryoga for killing his best friend  
Hiroshi. He took the opportunity and made the choice himself  
to rat out to the Chinese.  
  
I found out about the death with a well timed and  
conceived call from a payphone near I restaurant I happened  
to be eating. "We tried all we could, and we couldn't do  
anything about it," the Chinese bastard said. I knocked down  
and smashed that fucking payphone right on the street in  
broad daylight in front of dozens of people  
  
Poor Ryoga. He was shot in the head, and the damage was  
irreplaceable in the morgue. We couldn't even give him an  
open casket funeral. I must've seen about 5 shrinks before I  
finally calmed down again and went back to normal. I think I  
must've cried a fucking river before I stopped.  
  
The Nyuuchiezuu declared war on the Saotome-Tendo Crew,  
and they were going to get one. The assassination of Ryoga  
established that.  
  
First off, I personally went to Daisuke and fucking  
shanked him. I found him at some hotel getting a blow job  
from some filthy Nyuuchiezuu hooker, I slit his fucking  
throat as he moaned in delight from his hotel sofa. The  
hooker? I didn't have to do anything, she accidentally  
jumped out the window in a panic. Stupid fucking chink.  
  
How did I find out it was Daisuke you ask? It was his  
fault, actually. He foolishly deposited all that money into  
one of the banks the Saotome-Tendo Crew controlled. My men  
did the rest of the detective work.  
  
Next thing, well... I didn't have to make a move on  
those damn Chinkers. They came to me first. To Ryoga's  
family actually. An insider that we had hastily set up  
inside the Nyuuchiezuu gave us a tip that someone would  
attack the Hibikis. They actually had the fucking nerve to  
try to finish off Akari and Shin-chan. They were in a  
miserable wreck already. It boiled my blood. Shin-chan was  
like the son I never had, I raised him just as much as  
Ryoga. The Nyuuchiezuu was in for a surprise the night they  
tried to get into Ryoga's home.  
  
[Narrative]  
  
Shampoo was a decorated woman in the Nyuuchiezuu Crew.  
Her grandmother was the chief, and she herself had become a  
Made woman in the crew at a young age. She was considered  
the most skilled assassin of all the Nyuuchiezuu, and the  
prized child of the bosses. She killed off the legendary bad  
boy of the Saotome-Tendo Crew, Ryoga Hibiki. That male pig  
had killed off one of her own prized males, Mousse.  
  
Now Shampoo had to kill of the rest of Ryoga's family to  
honor Mousse. She slowly crept in the window of the first  
floor and roamed the kitchen. She stealthily moved around  
the large hallways of Ryoga's huge home. Silently creeping,  
she made her way across the living room. The entire house  
was pitch black, perfect for stealth.  
  
Suddenly, the lights in the living room flashed on.  
Shampoo cringed at the bright light and covered her eyes,  
she stood up and took up a defensive martial arts position  
in reflex. When her eyes were finally adjusted to the light  
and were able to see again, her heart felt as if it were  
stuck in her throat.  
  
Ranma was sitting down in the middle of the living room,  
along with about fifteen other men, surrounding him and  
Shampoo. Ranma clapped a couple of times and let out an evil  
grin.  
  
"Why hello Shampoo. You made a very bad mistake coming  
here trying to come here and whack Akari and Shinnosuke.  
You're a very naughty girl, you're a very bad fuckin' girl,"  
Ranma calmly said. He still had a grin on his face.  
  
Before Shampoo could do anything, a tall man behind her  
wrapped some piano wire around her throat and lifted her in  
the air. She tried to scream, but no air was getting through  
her throat.  
  
"You know what Shampoo?" Ranma slowly asked while  
getting up closer to her. "I think it's time for a fucking  
RINSE."  
  
  
* * *  
  
  
[Ranma]  
  
That night we dismembered that bitch's body parts and  
tried to send them to as many Nyuuchiezuu Crew members as we  
could. We saved the fucking head for the chief, it was sent  
to her personally by some delivery boy from FedEx.  
  
It was a horrible tragedy. Of course the Nyuuchiezuu  
retaliated. Who wouldn't?  
  
The war between us went on for years, and with many  
casualties on both sides. We both got fucked over. In the  
end, the Saotome-Tendo's won. It was inevitable. We were  
almost three times their size. The chief bitch, Cologne, was  
taken down by a sniper bullet that was shot off by one of  
our top assassins. They didn't even stand a chance. But we  
suffered a lot. And not just with deaths. It was like a  
fucking anvil that dropped on all our heads.  
  
The glorious Saotome-Tendo family was taken down. The  
culprit? The Japanese government. They had finally had  
enough bloodshed after years of Nyuuchiezuu and Saotome-  
Tendo murders. They knocked us down with a fucking wrecking  
ball. It came to the point where we couldn't pay off all the  
dirty cops and officials, and everything tumbled down.  
  
We lost a lot of money, but at least the top family  
members had all survived. Akari gave us all of her late  
husbands money, 500 million in total after collecting  
interest in the bank. Unfortunately, Pops and Tendo  
foolishly wasted away almost all of it trying to save their  
illegal businesses in the gang war and still trying to run  
that damn war at the same time.  
  
Pops, Tendo-san, my wife and kids, Ryoga's wife and  
kids, Ranko-chan and her family, Nabiki, and Kasumi... etc.  
All the people on the top got out. But we had to split up.  
All of us went our separate ways. We had only 5 million  
dollars left among us, and we split it up. Pops and Tendo-  
san spent hundreds of millions in the war against  
Nyuuchiezuu. When we split it up, we barely had any money to  
start new lives and get new identities.  
  
Now, I live with Akane and my two daughters down in  
America. I hate it down here. I didn't expect to live my  
37th birthday living like a nobody down in some urban  
suburbia. It fucking makes me sick. I ask for some saba with  
soy sauce and wasabi and they throw me a fucking old ass  
mackerel and some ketchup.  
  
I hate it here. I'm living like a fucking schmuck  
surrounded by a bunch of fucking morons who are happy with  
their simple lives.  
  
All my life I always wanted to be a gangster. It makes  
my heart ache every time I think of it now.  
  
Cause I still do.  
  
  
  
End Gangsters for Life  
  
------------------  
  
Disclaimer: Whatever, whatever. None of these characters  
belong to me, I make no profit outta this, don't fucking sue  
me.  
  
  
Author's Notes:  
  
I hope by the time you read this right here you're  
feeling damn disgusted with this fic and shocked by it's  
outrageous and filthy contents. If that's the feeling I  
instilled out of you, then I've accomplished my mission in  
writing this fic. If not, oh well. I hope you enjoyed it  
anyway.  
  
This fic was written by me in a short frenzy while I was  
in a horribly rotten mood. I had just finished watching two  
of my favorite movies from Martin Scorsese. The fic was  
inspired by the violent, realistic movies portrayed by  
Martin Scorsese. I made several movie references in this  
fic. If you DON'T know what they are or where you came from,  
I suggest you start renting some of his movies if you like  
GREAT drama. The entire Ranma aspect of the story really has  
nothing to do with the canon Ranma world. I wanted to just  
use their names and some basic personality traits, and fuse  
in traits that I choose for them.  
  
Oh yeah, by the way? If you don't know already  
Nyuuchiezuu is another way of describing the "Chinese  
Amazons."  
  
I also just based most of the mobster stuff on Italian  
mafias from movies I seen. I don't know anything about the  
damn Yakuza, and I don't pretend to know. I just depict them  
the best way I can, the way *I* want.  
  
The focus of this fic was mostly Ryoga. I really liked  
Ryoga's character in this fic. He's a violent, homicidal  
maniac, from the depths of hell. The way he treats people,  
how he kills without mercy, they way he actually can kill  
kids... He is just one big super villain here. His death was  
supposed to symbolize a lesson in life, "what goes around,  
comes around."  
  
This is only a oneshot. But if you think about it it's  
sort of a movie-fic, more like a longshot. I have no  
definite plans for making any more fics like this, maybe if  
people encouraged me to do so, I might. ^_^  
  
Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed this fic. And forgive me  
for the usage of the derogatory terms for Chinese people. I  
respect Chinese people very much and I don't mean to offend  
them, but I had to use some harsh terms in this fic to add  
to the violent characterizations in this fic.  
  
O_O Yeow. Jeez, I used "fuck" 224 times in this fic  
(including the reference at left). I gotta stop watching  
violent movies ^_^;;;  
  
  
Much praise to my prereader Kenneth Payne, also known as  
KPJAM. He has helped me with turning this much better than I  
can do so alone.  
  
  
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE SEND ME FEEDBACK!!! I write way  
faster when people give me feedback! My e-mail is  
SgtRanma@yahoo.com . However, if you're one of those people  
who say I write things that are too dark and gruesome or  
some shit like that, don't bother, because I don't force  
anyone to read my fics if they don't like it.  
  
Visit my website at http://www.sgtranma.0catch.com, or  
go to http://www.sgtranma.0catch.com/guns.html to take a  
look at some of the weapons Ranma uses in Officer Saotome. I  
always update there often, and fics always come there first.  
  
  
  
Finished August 8, 2001.  



End file.
